To Be Loved By Loved Ones
by SchlubBs
Summary: And what do you want for Christmas, Anthony? This is an AU Christmas story. Kelly plays a big role in it, and Tony of course. What do you expect anyway? Chapter Four, the first part, finally. Still not completed, though.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: This was originally intended to be a Christmas one-shot but it turned out to be long enough to make two chapters of it, so it's rather a two-shot. I hope you enjoy anyway. I'm trying to post the second part as soon as possible, hopefully before the end of the year.

**To be loved by loved ones**

Part One

"And what do you want for Christmas, Anthony?"

It was the last day before the holidays and the third grade of the Capitol Hill Day School in Washington D.C. had come together to talk about all the things they wished for Christmas. It was a tradition the class kept since pre-school but it was the first time for Anthony DiNozzo. He hadn't been in D.C. for long. A half year ago his father had decided to move to the capitol of the United States to escape memories he just wanted to forget. Not the least to the delight of the boy.

But that wasn't the only reason why Anthony wasn't happy. The nine year-old never liked holidays, especially not Christmas. While other kids couldn't wait for the 24th December for weeks, talking about presents they wanted and singing Christmas songs he couldn't find himself infected with the holiday fever everyone seemed to be in. He didn't like holidays and he had his reasons for that.

Anthony's father was a rich business man. Before his mother had died a year ago his father had been away, traveling around the world all the time. Now, he was at home very often, though. Something Tony didn't appreciate at all, because usually his father sat in his office, drunk. The nine year-old wasn't allowed in but every time he passed by he smelled the alcohol. Every now and then his father left his office and when Anthony DiNozzo wasn't in his room… Well, that better not be the case.

"Anthony?" Mrs. Cornwell, his teacher, asked. She obviously had called his name more than once. At least she sounded somewhat unnerved already. "Do you care to share your wishes for Christmas, young man, or not?" He looked up, somewhat embarrassed and nodded shyly.

While he walked to the front of his class Tony thought about what his class mates had said earlier. They had such nice wishes for Christmas. Some girls had wanted puppies, some had wanted a game boy or Santa knew what. One girl even wanted a dog for Christmas. Tony wouldn't even dare mentioning a pet to his father. He knew he wouldn't get one, anyway.

He never had wishes that even came close to those of other kids. His class mates thought it was because of the wealth of his father. Someone whose father was one of the most powerful men in the East of the United States had everything he wanted. That's what most people thought about children like him. That it wasn't always true crossed the mind of few, if anyone's at all. But since no-one wanted to talk to him, thinking he was arrogant and thought better of himself, he couldn't tell them otherwise. No way they would understand.

Approaching the front of the class room Tony swallowed and bit his lower lip nervously. He really didn't know what to say. He didn't have any real wishes that measured up to those of the others. "I don't have… uhm…" He stopped, cleared his throat and finally started to talk again. "My mother always told me that Christmas isn't for getting expensive presents. It is more important that everyone can be with his family. Fathers can be at home and don't have to be at war fighting, mothers don't have to think about household and children can be just children. No school, no stress, just family. Christmas should be a day of peace and remembrance that we have all been honored life and nothing more."

Tony stopped suddenly. He felt his eyes moisten and had to blink a few times before he regained his composure. "I'm happy that I'm alive and everything I wish for Christmas is for everyone I know and care for to be happy with his family. I guess that's most important about this holiday. That everyone is loved by his loved ones…" Again DiNozzo blinked. A tear rolled down his cheek and he knew he was about to break down, if he didn't stop right then so he went back to his chair and sat down heavily.

The class room was quiet all of a sudden and Tony wondered if maybe he had said too much. A burning sensation in his eyes brought him to turning away from the other kids. Tony buried his head in his sweatshirt and took some deep breaths before he turned to face his class mates. All eyes were on him and all he could think about was running and hiding miles away, where no-one would bore holes into him by simply staring.

Everyone had seen the tears Anthony DiNozzo was about to shed. At first they were too stunned to say anything but after a few seconds they began mumbling things to the other students. 'The baby's crying, you see?' or 'What's wrong with DiNozzo?' and other murmurs went between the boys and girls in the room, none of them stayed unacknowledged by Tony. But there were other things said too. A group of three or four people in front of him pitied him and he couldn't stand the 'I feel sorry for him' and 'He seems somewhat desperate'. But he didn't say anything. What _could_ he have said anyway?

Mrs. Cornwell stood in front of the class, not less stunned than the kids in the room. She watched Anthony shrinking further in his seat the more the others talked about him without actually talking to him. She knew it was about time to re-focus the nine year-olds back on her, away from DiNozzo who seemed to be only half of his size by now. She heard the cruel words from her class towards Tony and she couldn't let them insult the little boy any longer.

"That's enough, kids. I don't think Anthony appreciates you talking about him as if he isn't here", she said and blocked the upcoming protest. "I'm sure he has his reasons for almost breaking down. By the way, I don't think his words are wrong. They are something most of you probably should think about again. Christmas is not about presents but love. Maybe you should show Anthony that instead of referring to him as a baby."

Someone in the back row snorted loudly as if neglecting the fact Tony had mentioned in his speech earlier and Mrs. Cornwell just repeated. He murmured something that sounded much like 'Someone who cries is a baby, for sure' and that earned him a stern look from his teacher. "That especially counts for you, Stanley."

Mrs. Cornwell turned away from the boy she had referred to and her features softened a bit, when she realized that Tony seemed to have gotten his strength back at bit, hopefully as a result of her words. "Now, our time is almost over and I think you all can't wait for the holidays to begin. I wish you all happy holidays. Celebrate with your loved one's and make yourself some wonderful days. I'm sure you all need it. I'll see you in the new year."

With Cornwell's final words the children jumped from their seats, hurriedly packing their bags so they didn't need to be in school a second longer than needed. Suddenly no-one was interested in Anthony DiNozzo anymore and the boy was grateful for that. He heaved a sigh of relief when most of the other kids were gone and only he, his teacher and a girl named Kelly were left in the room. He didn't know why she had stayed behind. The group of girls she usually spent most of the time with was long gone and normally she wouldn't lag behind. Tony didn't waste any second thought about it, though.

He was just about to leave the room, when Kelly took a few steps closer. She stopped about ten feet away from him and simply looked at him for a while. DiNozzo didn't know what to do so he stopped and simply stood opposite her, nervously biting his lip. His eyes moved, unfocused, he wasn't sure where to look and finally decided that the carpet beneath his feet was probably the most interesting thing at the moment. It saved him the friendly but still intense stare Kelly Gibbs gave him.

For a while neither of them said anything. Not until Mrs. Cornwell moved towards the door in order to leave the class room. She wanted to talk to Tony in private for a moment and cleared her throat carefully. She didn't want to disturb the two kids with whatever they were doing. "Kelly, do you mind if I talk to Anthony shortly? It won't take long, so he's all yours in a few seconds." Mrs. Cornwell smiled at the nine years-old girl.

"Of course, Mrs. Cornwell. Happy holidays", she exclaimed before leaving the room behind, Tony and her teacher right along. She knew her father was probably already waiting outside and she was more than happy to see him again after such a long time. He was a marine after all and had been at war for a while. At least over the holidays he was granted to go home, finally. Still, Kelly had to talk to Anthony DiNozzo before she was able to face her father, again.

As soon as Kelly had closed the door behind her, Mrs. Cornwell turned to the small boy in front of her. He was smaller than the other boys in the class, way too small for his age and pretty thin, too. She often wondered if that had anything to do with his family or if he simply hadn't reached the period of growth the other boys already experienced. She knew about his mother, though, so she thought his thin appearance might come from the pressure and stress he must have been in the last months.

"Anthony?" Mrs. Cornwell called out to the boy who was obviously miles away from there and then. The boy shook his head slightly as if trying to stop memories from coming up he was desperately trying to forget for months now and looked at the elder woman. "If you have problems with getting along with your mother's death…"

Tony's head shot up and for a moment the teacher could see a flash of anger in his emerald green eyes. Milliseconds later it was gone and the light brown-haired boy answered in a raspy voice, "I don't have problems getting along with her passing away. I just miss her sometimes, that's all." He swallowed to get the lump out of his throat and looked away again. The pitiful look on Cornwell's face just made him nervous and he wanted nothing but getting away. "If you don't mind, I would like to go now. My father is probably waiting already and he's not very patient."

"Oh, of course. You better go then, Anthony. But if you ever need help… I'm willing to listen to you. You know that, right Anthony?" Mrs. Cornwell turned the boy's chin to her so she could look him in the eyes. He blinked a few times and nodded slowly, before answering.

"I will come to you. I promise, Mrs. Cornwell. Happy holidays." He turned to leave the room, but looked back one last time. "And Mrs. Cornwell?" He waited for the expected 'Yes, Anthony?' before he continued. "Please don't call me Anthony. I don't like it. Besides, Tony fits me better."

With these words he finally left the room to go home. He hadn't expected Kelly to be so patient, though. She still waited outside the room, staring at him intently, this time even more demanding than before. When he crossed her, thinking it would be the best to just ignore her and go on, she positioned herself right tin front of him, blocking the way out. He stopped and looked at her as nervously. Couldn't she just leave him alone? Was that too much to ask? Probably yes.

Again a battle of silence began between the both of them. Neither was willing to be the one to speak first. They had different intentions, though. While Tony just wanted her to up and go, Kelly wanted nothing more than to get him to talking to her. She didn't want to push him, so she just waited for him to speak first. Something she managed to do after what seemed like an eternity. "What do you want?"

Kelly smiled and for a while DiNozzo thought that was everything he would get in answer to his question. He was starting to get annoyed, wishing Kelly would eventually leave him alone. No such luck, though. "What happened to your mother? Why did it make you cry when you talked about her?"

Tony looked away. Her voice told him she was just being curious and just wanted him to feel better. But part of him couldn't believe it. He had been hurt too often lately so he couldn't bring up the trust to tell her. He shook his head in denial, pressing his lips together as if something he didn't want to might slip out of his mouth, accidentally. Betraying. "I don't want to talk about it. Please just let me go."

"No."

"Excuse me?" Tony asked, confused as hell. What did this girl think that she wouldn't let him go? That simply wasn't fair. It was his decision when and to whom he talked and when he finished talking to the whom. She was in no position to decide what he could and couldn't do.

"I said 'no'", she repeated and smiled, amused. DiNozzo thought, she was about to giggle or laugh out loud, but he was mistaken. Her smile faded, obviously seeing something in his eyes. It was then that he realized he was shaking ever so slightly, breathing heavily. He was in panic and didn't know whether he should simply run or just shake the feeling of and smile. Neither would do him any good. That much he knew, so he just waited until he regained his composure somewhat.

Kelly seemed concerned, though and the expression on her face, an expression he didn't know from anyone else but his passed mother, making him wonder why someone might suddenly have an interest in him or being afraid that something might not be right with him. He wasn't used to it, not the tiniest little bit. His mother had been concerned sometimes when she had still been alive, but no-one else.

"Your mother is dead, is she?"

The question caught him off guard and he had to try hard not to agitate. It had been hard for him hearing about his mother's death out of Mrs. Cornwell's mouth before, but that hadn't been that surprising. But how could he have expected Kelly to say it. She wasn't supposed to know about his mother, not at all. And hearing it from someone he barely knew, with such an emotion even, just topped it of.

The worst was the sympathy she gave him. Not that it was a bad thing, but he wasn't used to it. He rarely experienced sympathy, if at all. He knew pity, though. Pity was something many people gave him, such as Mrs. Cornwell. They didn't know what it was like to loose someone's mother, so they didn't know how to do sympathy. But pity he was used to. He knew how to react when someone pitied him, shrugging it of was the best way to get past it, but sympathy? It wasn't the same. Not in the slightest way.

"Look… This is none of your business, Kelly. It's not that I would intervene in your private life, would I? I see why you're asking me all this. I can imagine how cool it would be if you told the other's that I cry because my mother passed away and I can imagine that it would be fun for all of you to laugh…"

"What makes you think I would tell that to the others? What makes you think that I could actually laugh about something like that?" Kelly seemed shocked by what he had said. She couldn't figure out how someone could actually believe someone would make fun when a beloved person died. She couldn't imagine anyone in their class would do if they knew the reason why he broke down anyway.

"I have my reasons, believe me. Now, if you excuse me… My father is probably furious by now that I'm not out of school, yet." Tony took some deep breaths and turned to exit the main entrance of the school. He didn't want to look back, silently hoping Kelly would understand that he didn't want to talk to her or anyone else for that matter. With a bit luck she had forgotten about the incident after the holidays or at least wouldn't talk to him about it anymore.

But no such luck. Again Kelly didn't let go, calling after him to wait. "Tony? I get why you don't want to talk about this right now, if ever. At least I think I do. So, if you turn your mind and want to talk to someone… My father is a marine and rarely at home. I'm always afraid that maybe he might not return because something might have happened to him while at war. It's not the same as loosing one parent, but I guess it comes pretty near. If you change your mind and need someone to listen, just call me. I just want to help, you know?"

Tony looked at her for a few seconds, nodded and finally left without another word. Kelly just watched him before exiting school herself. She couldn't help but feeling somewhat responsible for Anthony DiNozzo. There was something about him screaming for protection. What it was he wanted to be protected from she didn't know. And she knew, she would only figure it out when he was willing to talk. Tony wasn't, not yet at least, so everything she could do was wait.

Kelly saw her father already as soon as she got past the door. He leaned on the door of the car, his body language saying he was nonchalant, but when she looked at his face Kelly knew her father wasn't all that composed at all. She found out why the second she followed his gaze and the raised voice of an elder man further down the street. She recognized Tony, hung head and seemingly shrinking to a minimum. Kelly held her breath while watching the scenario. She didn't understand anything that was said but she could tell from Tony's features that he was near breaking point. It hit her hard when she finally caught some words spoken by the man who must be DiNozzos father.

"You being late is the reason why your mother died in the first place!" The man spat the words at Tony and Kelly could see tears glistering on the boy's face. She felt hate dwelling up inside and if it hadn't been for her father's hand on her shoulder she would probably have run towards Mr. DiNozzo and punched him right in the face. She gasped in shock when she caught some words being said like 'worthless son of a bitch' and 'freak of nature'.

It was then that not even Kelly's father could keep his temper in track. "I'll be right back, sweetheart", he whispered in her ear and walked over to where Anthony DiNozzo and his father still stood. He couldn't stand people who threatened and scolded their children. It was okay to have a solemn talk with his son but the yelling was not even close to being acceptable. Anger, hatred dwelled up inside him and his heart pounded hard against his chest.

"Is something wrong here?", he asked in a demanding tone that scared the hell out of Tony who had acknowledged the man approaching them first. The steady posture gave him a pretty good idea about the man's character. He was definitely someone with a backbone. Someone, who didn't let go easily. Anthony looked up at his father, not quite daring to say something or move. Although Gibbs appeared to be hard as steel he felt save and somewhat thankful for his interfering.

"No there isn't. Mind me asking who you are?" Mr. DiNozzo countered without really showing interest in an answer. He was already halfway in the back seat of the black limousine, his back turned to Gibbs. Tony stood on the sidewalk and didn't dare moving at all.

"Leroy Jethro Gibbs, Gunnery Sergeant and I don't like the way you treat your son over here. I'm sure there are better methods to raise a child than yelling at it." Mr. DiNozzo turned around to look sternly at Gibbs. His face was red in anger. He so didn't like it when someone intervened in his business. Educating Anthony DiNozzo was only the matter of him and the nannies maybe, but not anyone else's.

"I don't think that this is any of your business. So if you excuse me, I don't have time for something like that." Mr. DiNozzo turned away, grabbing his son roughly at his jacket and pulled the nine year-old into the car. Tony had an expression on his face that Gibbs wouldn't forget anytime soon. There were so many emotions all at once. Desperation, fear and pain only three of them. He was shocked that such a small boy knew all those emotions that were written on his face. He was calling for help, that was for sure and the Gunny knew he couldn't disappoint that kid. But before he even had a chance to do anything at all Mr. DiNozzo shut the door right in his face and the limousine had started. No way could he do something, anything right now. He was shocked and that feeling had yet to subside before he was able to think clearly again…

**To be concluded...**

Reviews would be nice. Compliments are nice, critic is even better - and it makes me happy :) So... please?


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: I know I said this was going to be a two-shot but I've been writing and writing and suddenly I had more than 7.000 words and the story wasn't even close to being finished. I don't think anyone will mind a three-shot, huh? Anyway, I have plenty of time today so I might actually make it today so that I can post the third part tomorrow or so.

KatiKool: I especially wanted to thank you for the long review. It made me smile for the rest of the day. I'm well aware that Kelly is much younger than Tony, just forgot to mention that this story is AU. I'm scary? Nice to hear that. :) I always doubt my work but since you're not the only one who tells me that I'm beginning to be more confident. So thank you. And to answer your questions: I didn't really intend to go so far with this that Gibbs actually adopted Tony, but maybe you're right and I should think about a series that might lead there somehow. But it will take a while until I'm capable to realize that, cause I have exams in January and then the end of my career in school comes so I have a lot to do. But I promise to think about something like that ;)

And to all the other's who reviewed to my story: I appreciate your comments and hope the second part meets your expectations. Enjoy!

Part Two

"We have to help him, daddy!" Kelly was in exuberant spirits after what she had seen only half an hour ago. The drive from school to their house normally didn't take Gibbs longer than fifteen minutes but today they had almost needed twice the time. Kelly was used to the driving style of her father and knew when he drove as slowly as grandparents then there was definitely something wrong. She was worried. Not only for Tony but her dad, too.

"I'd rather like to know who this little boy is, Kelly." Gibbs was just as exasperated as his daughter but what could he actually do without even knowing whom he had to deal with? Even if he knew, he didn't have any evidence against the man that had yelled at his little son. Therefore he couldn't convict somebody for yelling. Every parent discussed with his child now an then, although not that severe. Still the evidence was what bothered him most. He had seen the painful expression in the boy's eyes but that didn't help him the slightest bit. "What can you tell me about him, sweetheart?"

Kelly who had been pacing the kitchen for minutes now, stopped in her tracks and sat down on one of the bar stools. "His name is Anthony DiNozzo and he only just came into my grade a few months ago. As far as I know he doesn't have any friends so most of the breaks he's alone. He never talks to anyone and when he does he just answers the questions of the teachers. I heard some of the other kids say that his father is rich and that's why he doesn't talk to us. They say he's arrogant and thinks he's something better than us, but I don't really believe that." Kelly lowered her head. "Rather the contrary is the case."

The Gunnery Sergeant listened with interest. The DiNozzo enterprise was a household name for him and he knew that it was originally stationed in Long Island. He could remember reading something about Mr. DiNozzo moving to Washington, though, just before Kelly's second year in school had been over. That there was a son involved he never knew. Not before today, at least. The more surprised he was.

"Where did you get the idea, that he's not what your school mates say about him?" Gibbs asked, curiously. He knew his question might sound a bit rude but was aware that Kelly knew better than to be scared of that kind of voice. She was used to it, often saying it lead from his job. In fact, just that might have been the case considering that he was a marine and saw loads of things when at war. Things he sometimes wished he wouldn't see, but who was he to complain.

"Well… Today Mrs. Cornwell asked all of us what we wanted for Christmas and his answer wasn't even a tiny little bit like what you would expect from a spoiled rich kid. He said something like that it's most important to love and be loved on Christmas day and that presents shouldn't be playing such a big role." Gibbs gave her an odd look and she knew what he referred to. What the kid had said was right so there was nothing unlikely. It was the truth in fact and seeing the confusion on her father's face made her continue.

"I know that he's right but the point is the way he said it. He looked so lonely and hurt when Tony mentioned that he mother had taught him that. I was curious why Tony reacted the way he did – he almost cried, you know – so I waited after school was over and asked him what was wrong." Kelly paused, swallowing the bad taste in her mouth when she thought about what she was about to say. "Generally you know the answer already. You heard what his father said earlier." She sighed and looked at her feet, thinking about Tony. When she already felt bad for his mother how would he feel? About ten times worse, if not more.

"His mother died", the Gunny said after a while. He closed his eyes and shook his head. A few seconds he simply stood there but then he couldn't take it any longer and paced the room, anger flaring up in his eyes. How could a father blame his son for the death of a mother? The thought crossed his mind again and again but he knew that alone was no reason to actually confront someone, especially someone so powerful like Mr. DiNozzo.

Again he recalled dozens of emotions in the boy's eyes just before the car door had been shut right in his face. The pain he had seen was one of it, fear right away. But those he was able to ease once he got close to Anthony DiNozzo Senior and punched some sense into him, no matter with which measures. Even despair was something he could soothe away with patience and time. But there had been feelings that couldn't be erased that easy. Terror, abuse, guilt. Hopelessness. He couldn't quite put the pieces together, there were too many gaps for that but it was obvious to Leroy Jethro Gibbs that there was more behind the relationship of Mr. DiNozzo and his son he had yet to figure out. He just didn't know how. He just knew he would sometime soon.

---

Anthony DiNozzo watched the limousine enter the gateway of the DiNozzo mansion, nervously. He sat by his window in his room on the second floor, holding a book in his hand he had been trying to concentrate on. No luck, though. He hadn't been able to concentrate on anything but the return of his father the whole morning. He had spent the whole day pacing his room, picking up books or his sketch pad and throwing them on his bed seconds later. As soon as he saw the luxurious car pull up next to the entry of the house he turned away from the window and looked around in his room. Unread books lay scattered across the bed. Some of them had fallen on the carpet. It looked like in shambles.

Panicking slightly Tony took the books hastily and put them back in the shelves where they belonged. He didn't want his father to loose his temper over the chaos in his room. The shit he was in was deep enough already, he didn't need to make it worse. When he picked up a school book he recognized a small sheet of paper. 'If you want to talk, call me. Kelly' was written on it with girly handwriting, along with a telephone number. Frowning he paused to think back to Friday when he had talked to her. He couldn't remember her being near his things. How had she been able to give him her telephone number?

He couldn't think any further though, disturbed by his father who had picked exactly that moment to enter his room and fill the room with his menacing presence. Tony would have felt it even when he wouldn't have barked in with the force that came naturally with his begetter. He put the paper in his jeans pocket and turned around slowly. His breath was rough and his heart pounded against his chest as if it wanted to jump out. Looking his father straight in the eyes took a lot of effort out of him and it was no difference that day.

But instead of the punishment Anthony had expected DiNozzo just looked around in his room for long minutes. Without attaching value to his son he turned to leave the room. Somewhat at ease Tony blinked and let out the breath he didn't remember holding for the past seconds. He was about to take the few steps towards the sketch pad that still laid halfway under the bed when his father stopped him in his tracks with a terrifying voice. "Don't think I forgot about Friday, son. Let yourself be warned that you will receive an appropriate punishment later."

Tony didn't dare objecting so he simply nodded without actually opening his mouth. It was enough to make his father furious though and seconds later he felt a slap of the strong hand in his face and his cheek burned like hell. He yelped of shock while falling backwards on the floor hitting his head on the bed rail during his fall but he bit back another sound that might actually piss his father off even more. "You answer with 'yes, Sir' when I talk to you, is that clear?" Mr. DiNozzo said with a dangerous voice.

The first reaction from the little boy was another nod, at the raised hand of the elder man soon followed with a "Yes, Sir". DiNozzo Senior stopped in his track, letting his hand fall loose against his side. He grabbed his son with his other hand though and pulled the shaking form up from the floor, violently. "Get up, you worthless brat and rather do something useful."

The man turned away from his son and gazed around the room once again. His eyes fell on the sketch pad under the bed. The drawing on top was a neat and delicate pencil drawing of his mother, copied from a photograph he kept in his wallet all the time. It was the only real memory he had of her. Thinking to himself that it would be nice to have some kind of backup of the already crumbled and bleached photo he had made a picture of it.

His father, though, didn't like art. He hated it so when he grabbed the pad and recognized what he had drawn trouble was expected. "I see you have been doing this crap again. What a waste of time… Do you think drawing her minimizes your guilt? This-", Mr. DiNozzo pointed at the drawing in his hand. "This just shows me that you really have something to be guilty of. No-one draws a deceased person when he's not guilty."

"But I just want to remember her…" Tony interfered, his voice thin, filled with pain and on the edge of crying. His eyes widened when he saw his father tearing off the sheet of paper from the pad. He ripped it in dozen little pieces which flew through the room until they came to a halt on the dark wooden floor. A whiny 'no' escaped the boy and he closed his eyes shut immediately so he wouldn't see the next blow coming. He waited minutes that seemed like an eternity but nothing came and when he finally dared to open his eyes there were only the paper shavings left. His father was gone without even closing the door and Anthony Junior felt oddly exposed although he didn't know where that feeling came from.

Anthony picked up the remaining shreds of the drawing he had been sitting on for two days straight and put them in the bin under his desk. He took the photograph, clutched it close to his chest and laid down on his bed, curling up in a fetal position, closing his eyes and silently crying to himself. His head ached from the collision with the bed frame and his cheek burned but both was numbed by the unbearable tug in his heart. It ached so terribly to be humiliated on Christmas Eve that he didn't want to stay at home a second longer than needed.

It didn't take him long to figure out that calling Kelly was probably the only opportunity he had when he wanted this day to become any better at all. But he was aware that calling Kelly Gibbs meant he actually had to get past the office in which his father was most likely, drinking scotch or any other high percentage liquid. Mr. DiNozzo had good ears so no way he would miss the footsteps on the old parquet. It was risky but from his room there was no other way to the living room.

Anyway, he had to try. This was his only chance and he couldn't miss it so he climbed off the bed and walked towards the hall. His father hadn't cared to close the door earlier so he decided to leave it open, knowing the elder DiNozzo would pick up the sound anyway. Barefoot he went downstairs, careful that the steps didn't creak beneath his feet. Minutes later he had reached the office.

He stopped and looked around the corner to make sure his father couldn't see him. Gladly, his father stood near the window with his back to him, holding a glass of scotch in his hand, sipping from time to time. Holding his breath Tony hurried past the glass door and took off towards the living room. He picked up the phone and sat down on the crème colored leather couch before pulling out the sheet of paper with Kelly's phone number on it. He breathed in and out deeply and dialed the number with shaking hands.

---

Kelly was frantic. She waited for a call for two days now and it never came. As soon as she had found peace and sat down somewhere and actually did something other than pacing she stood up again to hypnotize the telephone in the hall. Her gut told her that Tony would call by no later than Christmas Eve when he decided to call her. And somehow she knew that he would call at all. That none of the calls in the previous forty-eight hours had been from the one person she awaited to be on the phone made her hopes shrink more and more. She had talked to a dozen of aunts, uncles, grandparents, friends from the family and cousins, always passing the phone along to her parents and by doing that she grew more and more frustrated.

It was around noon, just after Shannon, Kelly's mother, had called her for lunch and she picked on her food halfheartedly, that Jethro couldn't stand the sight of his daughter anymore. Sharing a knowing glance with his wife, he sighed wistfully. Gibbs didn't like seeing his daughter down. She was smart and always willing to help but just like him she took it to heart when that didn't really function the way she wanted it to.

"He will call, Kelly." The Gunnery Sergeant couldn't bear the look of withdrawal and disappointment on his daughter's face any longer. He knew she wouldn't forgive herself when Tony would ask for help. She had the heart of an angel and made people smile all the time, but if she couldn't make her depressed class mate smile she would probably give up her ability to chase the darkness where it didn't belong.

"No, he won't, daddy. He would have called already if he truly wanted my help. It's obvious that he can't trust me enough." Laying aside the silverware she crossed her arms in front of her chest and lowered her head to stare on the plate with the omelet, potatoes and vegetables on it. She liked omelet but today she couldn't get at least one bite down her throat. When her father began to speak again, she interrupted him without second thought.

"I don't want to hear it, dad. He doesn't want my help at all so he doesn't call. That's all. I'm in my room if you want something. Mom, dad…" She walked upstairs not once looking back at her parents. She didn't think Tony would call anyway so where was the sense in waiting for something that wasn't about to happen? Right. No sense in that at all.

Leroy Jethro Gibbs followed her movement with sad eyes. He understood her grief about the fact that the little boy hadn't called but he couldn't imagine that DiNozzo's son didn't want help. What he had seen showed him how much the boy ached to get away from his father, it had been apparent in his eyes and there was no way Gibbs was mistaken for that. The only reason why Tony hadn't called yet was probably his highly intolerable father who seemed to be too self-engrossed to see the misery his son was in.

Deep in thoughts Gibbs barely registered that his wife called out to him what seemed like not the first time. She gave him a taunting look that made him squirm the tiniest bit before he regained his composure and turned to look at Shannon, alertly. Only she and Kelly were able to make him blush in the slightest way and he really didn't mind. From time to time even a hard-ass marine like him needed someone to kick his ass so he refocused when he had drifted away with his thoughts.

"Somehow I have the feeling that something is going on between you and Kelly. I have never seen our daughter so quiet for longer than a few hours and I hate to see you two communicating over these looks you two give each other and leaving me out of everything. So… how about you tell me what's going on here, Jethro?" Shannon watched her husband whose expression had turned even more serious throughout her tirade. She could see that whatever the problem was bothered Gibbs just as much as Kelly and she couldn't find any comfort in that.

Sighing Gibbs leaned forward and positioned his elbows on the table. "There is a boy in Kelly's grade that obviously has some family problems at the moment. His mother died a few months ago and his father seems to blame him for her death. When I picked Kelly up after school on Friday we witnessed his father becoming aggressive and I'm sure that it wasn't the first time he laid hand on his son." Jethro closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. "Kelly gave him our phone number and told him to call when he wanted to talk or needed help but he hasn't yet so she begins to doubt that he'll get in touch with her."

"But you are positive about it. That the kid will call." It wasn't formed as a question but Gibbs knew his wife meant it to be so he simply nodded. Shannon looked at him for a long time reading everything that was written in his eyes. Moments like this were rare but either one both enjoyed and needed these more than anything. Minutes of silently sharing their love and comforting each other that everything would be okay even when it didn't seem that way. And Jethro needed that right now more than ever.

Suddenly the silence was broken, though, by the ringing telephone, much to the delight of both of them. Gibbs' heart pounded faster right away and with a quick glance at Shannon he didn't wait a second longer to run into the living room to pick it up. "Yes, hello?", he said into the speaker seeing his wife approach from the corner of his eye. Silence on the other side of the phone but Gibbs patiently waited. After a few seconds a half-whisper reached his ear and Jethro's heart felt like jumping out the second he made out a thin voice.

"_Hello? Is this… Who am I talking to?"_ Gibbs barely caught the words but he knew right away that it must be the little boy from Kelly's class. He nodded to Shannon, who watched him, asking and she smiled relieved. She went off to Kelly's room to tell her the news and left the living room, leaving the marine in private with the telephone.

"This is Gunnery Sergeant Gibbs." Waiting for a second or two he could hear the little boy exhaling. He had probably been holding his breath, scared of whatever he had been expecting. "I guess, you are Anthony DiNozzo, is that right?" His question was once again followed by silence. Waiting for another minute or so he grew more and more concerned that maybe he had frightened the kid with knowing his name. His fear was disturbed, however, when the thin voice made his appearance again.

"_Yes, Sir. Is it possible… I mean, can I talk to Kelly, please?"_ Right that moment Shannon returned with a much excited Kelly beside her, who didn't want to wait a second longer to talk to Tony. Her father handed her the phone without second thought. He didn't even care to answer the boy but mentally noted that as soon as he would talk to Mr. DiNozzo again he would kick him in the ass more than just once. He never had known a nine year-old to be so shy like the junior and he really hated the businessman for that. He was supposed to prepare his son for the future, not to scare the hell out of him so that he was afraid to ask for anything.

Gibbs was so engrossed in his thoughts that he couldn't even listen to the telephone conversation of his daughter. Just when she became louder and slightly agitated he turned back to her. "Tony? Tony, what's wrong? C'mon, answer me!" Kelly glanced at her father, her eyes wide, the panic obvious. Something was terribly wrong on the other end of the phone and not even his daughter could figure it out. She looked at him for long minutes, then she finally cleared her throat, choking out the only thing she could think of right now and then.

"We have to get him out of there, daddy."

**To be concluded...**

Reviews are highly appreciated.


	3. Chapter 3 Part One

_Author's Note: I know, I know... I'm long overdue with an update. I have to apologize for not posting anything earlier, but I guess I have a good reason for that. I've been caught up with school, didn't have time for anything else but school and, honestly, I don't have too much time now, either. But since there are so many lovely people out there who have been reading and reviewing on my story I'm in those poeple's debt. That's why I'm posting part of the third and last chapter of this story, so that my readers have at least something to read._

_Thanks to all those who read and reviewed. It makes me happy to see, that people love the story since I love writing it. I would have finished it a long time ago, but as I said, I have a rough time in school and have to fight for an appropriate Abitur._

_Hope you have fun reading the new chapter. And please don't forget to review, if you want to make me and my heart smile._

**Chapter Three Part One**

"_Tony, is that you?"_

Sneaking out of his room, passing his father's office and using the phone on top of that, all unnoticed by the owner of the mansion, was a success for the younger Anthony DiNozzo that made him kind of proud. While he had still been a bit insecure during the short exchange of words with Kelly's father he had become more and more confident that calling the Gibbs' was the thing to do. And when he finally heard the rustling of a phone handed over and then the yearned voice of Kelly Gibbs he was relieved. The first time in what seemed an eternity.

The relief left him a bit too lightheaded, though. Up to that moment he hadn't risked talking any louder than whispering, but it felt so damn good to hear the most likely only source of help that was available for him. But when he answered the girl on the other end of the phone he wasn't nearly as careful as he had been before. His response was still a bit tentative but not at all whispered. "Yes, it's me, Kelly. Uhm… I thought it wouldn't be a bad idea to take up on your offer to talk?"

"_Thank God. I'm glad you decided to call. So, what do you want to talk about?"_ Kelly's chipper reply came over the phone but Tony didn't pay attention anymore. He felt the presence of someone else in the room filling it with thick air and that reassured him not in the least. When a hand curled around his wrist, squeezing heavily and taking the phone out of his hands to throw it a few feet away Tony knew he was screwed. He tried to entwine his arm from the grasp but that only led the man behind him to squeeze even harder.

"Who did you call?" Mr. DiNozzo asked breathing directly in the boy's ear. Tony felt and smelled the alcohol in his father's breath that made his stomach twist painfully. Ever since his mother had died this scent surrounded the elder DiNozzo. The nine year-old had smelled it more often than not but that didn't mean he had gotten used to it over the months. Actually it made him more and more sick with every single time. All he wanted to do was throw up but he knew that would earn him nothing but beatings and words of hate.

That his stomach tightened from the scent didn't do him any good though. It rather made him dizzy, took his ability to think clearly and respond properly. Biting his lip to keep the bile from coming up and shivering slightly he couldn't answer, instead waited for the first punch to come. It didn't because his father decided rather to pull his arm roughly and twist it behind his back. Tony whined quietly but didn't make another sound angering his begetter even more than he already had. The question was repeated, but this time like felt million decibel louder and more infuriated. "Who did you call, Anthony? Answer me!"

"A friend… I just wanted to wish her a merry Christmas, dad", he answered, wincing at the noise that was the absolute opposite of his own breathy voice. He knew his father wouldn't believe him. Not after the incident in his room just about half an hour earlier. Awaiting a reaction from his so-called father Tony tried to turn into a position that was way more comfortable for his twisted arm. He was careful, observing the man behind him from the corner of his eyes, but not careful enough and moments later his arm was pushed higher on his back than he had ever imagined was possible.

"I don't believe you, you stupid son of a bitch!" Tony received as an answer, but it didn't get to him. He had known anyway. He rather screamed at the excruciating pain the second twist had caused him. He was sure that at least one bone must be broken. He bit his lip, hard, causing it to bleed heavily but he didn't care. Everything was better than the pang in his left arm.

When it slowly decreased to a lesser level he knew that he had to take up on his only chance to get out of the living hell he was in, here in the mansion of his cruel father who crossed even the ever so tiny parts of his sanity and parental responsibility to punish his son for the most insignificant things existing in the world. The realization of that was all it took to give Tony the strength he needed. His will to escape was stronger than his fear could ever be. The knowledge that he was about to do something very risky got his adrenaline flowing. Without giving it a second thought he pulled out of the grasp his father had him in. He didn't even feel the pain it caused his already broken arm, rushed to the telephone that had landed a few feet away on the crème colored carpet, grabbed it and held it to his ear. Glad, that Kelly hadn't ended the call yet he whispered into the phone, the panic evident in his shaky voice. "Please come, Kelly. I need your help…"

That was everything he was allowed before his father had recovered from the shock and took the phone from him, finally ending the call to the mysterious friend of Tony's. The beatings the boy had expected already came, one after another. The sound of a hand hitting a body mixed with the angry shouting of Mr. DiNozzo made Tony sick, but it was nothing more and nothing less. He was numb to the world, praying for the miracle of Kelly Gibbs coming for his rescue. His mind was fixed on believing in a little girl not older than he himself but with the power to change the world. His world at least…

**_Meanwhile in the car..._**

_We have to get him out of there._

Kelly repeated her last words over and over again in her head. Since she had said them to her parents she couldn't think of anything but Tony and his last words. It weren't only the words he had sad, but mostly his voice. So desperate. So painful. Filled with so much anxiety that Kelly's heart almost broke when she thought about it. She wanted to cry for him, wanted to take him away from where he was. She wanted to hug him; take him in her arms and never let go again. She wanted to protect him and give him everything he needed. But what she wanted the most was to give him back his mother. Sadly, that was impossible for her.

Sitting in the back of the car of her father, who was driving even more dangerous than he normally did, Kelly prayed. Not for her life – she knew Jethro's driving better than anyone else, after all – but for Tony. She couldn't explain it but somehow she felt for him as if he was a brother, although three days ago had been the first time she had actually talked to the shy, lonely boy. Those three days had gone by as rough as bubblegum and it felt like she had known Anthony DiNozzo for a lifetime already. The more it hurt to know that he was in big trouble and that she was the only one able to help him.

"C'mon, daddy. Can't you drive faster?", Kelly pleaded. She was well aware that Leroy Jethro Gibbs already drove as if the devil was behind him, high above the actual speed limit and although the terrible news had been delivered less than five minutes ago it felt like an endless hour. Impatiently fidgeting about in the backseat of the car, she glanced at the surroundings. Little houses like the one they lived in, one next to the other with only small yards turned into bigger fenced houses with long gateways and larger plots of land.

It felt like a lifetime had bygone by the time Kelly spotted the mansion of the DiNozzos. Alarm systems were installed everywhere and entrance to the gateway could only be granted via inter phone. Stepping out of the car and processing the gadgets the Gunnery Sergeant cursed softly. They needed to get in there as soon as possible, simply couldn't waste any time discussing with a guard asking them about the reason for their visit.

In the end, neither Gibbs nor his daughter knew, how they had managed to get in without using the intercom and without the burglar system buzzing with a shrill tone. Jethro only remembered hearing desperate crying and shouting from a room on the other end of the villa and following the noises to their source, knocking the man out he'd seen on Friday when he'd taken his daughter from school and cradling a bleeding, crying small boy in his arms and ordering Kelly to call both police and ambulance. Everything after that, the twenty minute drive to the hospital and the arrival, the two hours waiting for any news from the hospital staff was blank.

**To be concluded...**

Review please?


	4. Chapter 3 Part Two

_**AN:** Hey, guys. So much thanks to you for the reviews and story favorites. I couldn't love you more for this kind of support. I'm really sorry that I didn't make it earlier. The second part of the chapter is long overdue but lack of time due to my exams set me back and when I finally had the time to write the weather was just way too good for me to stay in that heated up room of mine staring at a blank computer screen and trying to find the right words._

_However, I finally took the time to complete the chapter and even though it's not finished I'm planning on writing the last chapter as soon as possible. I hope you haven't given up on me, yet (:  
_

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**Chapter Three, Part Two**

It was in the hospital, two full hours after surgery that Kelly was finally allowed to visit her friend. Her father's protectiveness towards Anthony DiNozzo from the moment they had found him had been nice, she had to admit. But even though she'd been proud of her dad the constant shielding of his sight from her was getting on her nerves quickly.

She had been the one to notice, that something with Tony and his behavior was wrong. It was hard for her not to be able to have at least one glance at him, when he needed help the most. She had to be the one to help him. Not her father. Not some paramedics. Not some doctors fixing him in the hospital. And sure as hell not some nurses checking on him every now and then. She wanted to stay with him the whole time. She felt responsible for him and didn't want to understand, why she wasn't granted to see Tony.

"_You did everything in your power to save him, Kelly. Without you he would be far from okay right now, even farther than he is. But at the moment there is nothing you can do for him except wait."_ Gibbs had told her that earlier, when she desperately tried to get a closer look at the form on the carpet in the DiNozzo mansion while waiting for the ambulance to arrive. Calming her down with soothing words, telling her, that without her help Tony would have never been able to escape his father the Gunny finally got through her thick skull. Even though she still didn't like to be unable to help at the moment, she accepted it, nodded in understanding. Coming after her father, though, patience wasn't one of her strengths and waiting was pretty hard.

Now, however, she was granted access to the hospital room in pediatric ward, where Tony lay. She sat down next to the bed smiling down at the still drowsy boy, happy to see that he was finally alert enough to talk. Though, he didn't want to talk. He looked haunted, distraught, sad… There were so many other adjectives she could use to describe his facial expression, but they were the three fitting best.

"I'm thankful you called, you know… I almost gave up on you calling. I thought you'd forgotten", she said after a while of simply watching him. Everything she'd said up to now had been hanging in the air uncommented. It seemed like talking to someone was something he'd stopped doing early in his life, probably stilled by his father all the time when he tried to say something that wasn't required. Kelly, however, didn't like the quietness that always seemed to surround him in a cloud so thick that no-one was able to get through it. She had to do something about it, she had to try and break the bubble he was in.

"Why don't you talk to someone? Why don't you talk to me, dammit?" she burst out. Her tone wasn't angry, just bitter and the choice of words seemed inappropriate, but it was obviously enough for Tony to flinch. He seemed to shrink even more, if that was even possible, clutching the blanket tightly with the hand that wasn't plastered in a cast, looking at Kelly, obviously scared. He looked as vulnerable as he could be, as if he could break into a million of pieces any moment.

"I'm sorry…"

The voice was so small and grave that Kelly almost couldn't hear, but her ears were above average and when the sound reached them she was shocked. She didn't mean to sound so grumpy. Not at all. She should have thought about it before. She should have known, that Tony wouldn't react well to that kind of tone. "You don't have to be… I didn't mean to sound so… harsh. You didn't deserve that…" She looked at him and recognized that his fear hadn't vanished in the least. She could kick herself for it. "It's just, I hoped you'd say anything to me, that's all…"

It was in the exact moment that Jethro Gibbs decided to make his presence known. He'd been standing in the door for a few minutes already, listening to the one sided exchange between his daughter and the kid. Thoroughly looking Tony up from head to toe he didn't miss the signs of fatigue, distress and anxiety on in his body language. But there was something else in it. A desperate call for help. The boy seemed to be craving for someone to care, maybe even love him.

"Hey", he said softly, slowly approaching the hospital bed. Four eyes turned on him and a lopsided grin appeared tucked on the corner of his eyes. "Could you please wait outside for a few minutes, Kelly?" The girl opened her mouth in protest, but one raised eyebrow was enough for her to shut up and do as she was told. Nobody dared complaining about Gibbs' words. "Thank you, sweetheart."

He smiled in her direction when she reached for the door and carefully closed it, then turned to the kid. Gibbs knelt next to the bed so he wouldn't scare him any further and studied him for a while. "How are you doing?" The boy turned his head away, avoiding eye contact. His lips didn't move, but Jethro knew better than to push him. The kid needed his space, needed to be able to make his own decisions whether or not he could trust him. If Tony decided he didn't trust Gibbs, it would be sad, but he still wouldn't push him. "Okay. You can talk if you want. It's your choice."

It seemed like hours until a small voice reached his ears. The same insecure voice he'd heard earlier on the phone. "Where is my father?" The question was not much of a surprise to Gibbs, it was rather the feelings shining through between the lines. It didn't sound as if the kid wanted to see his dad. The tone was neutral, mostly repressed curiosity and maybe a little bit of hope, relief.

"He's at the police department answering a few questions." Gibbs answered.

"What's going to happen to him? Will he be in jail?" Hope, once again.

"Unless he has a mysterious twin he can charge he has to prepare himself for a few years in jail. There are plenty of charges we can nail him for. Start with the obvious like child abuse, assault or rather malicious injury. And there will probably be things like drunk driving, verbal abuse and god knows what else." Gibbs sighed, a tight smile playing around the edges of his eyes. "You are save now. And once he gets out of prison he won't be allowed to see you. Youth welfare will take care of that."

Tony nodded, relieved that he was finally free from the man who had made his life hell for the last year. But there his comfort was mixed with a new fear. He didn't want to go to protectory. He was too old to be adopted by a couple who wished to have kids, but he didn't want to be left there until he turned eighteen, which meant he would stay there for almost ten years. He lowered his head and sniffed quietly.

"What's bothering you, Tony?" Gibbs tapped the kid under the chin. Lightly, not to scare the boy. Just enough to be able to look him in the eyes. And he saw the question already, before Tony had the chance to say it. If he even wanted to say it.

"There's no way avoiding a visit with someone from youth welfare. I know the chance of you being adopted is pretty small, but I promise you I'll do everything in my power to find someone who will take care of you." Gibbs sighed inwardly. The kid was so broken. He would never be able to have a careless childhood like every kid should. Scarred for life, so to say. He wouldn't survive in protectory.

"Why…", Tony started but had to stop, when pain shot through his broken arm. One wrong move. He bit his lip, sucked it up like his father would say and continued. "Why can't I stay with you and Kelly?" His voice was small, just like always. The question caught Gibbs off guard but for some reason they filled him with pride. The kid barely knew him but obviously he trusted him more than enough.

"Is that really, what you want?" Gibbs asked seriously. "I'm not sure if I am who you see in me. I may have saved you from your father, but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm the one you're looking for, kid." What if the kid expected too much and only realized when it was too late? He could be some high criminal, saving him only to make things worse. The kid couldn't know for sure.

He saw the sadness and sudden neglect in Tony's eyes and soon regretted having said the words. He didn't want to disappoint the kid. But he didn't want to make false promises either. Gosh, why was everything so complicated since the little DiNozzo appeared in his life?

"So, you don't want me then?" It was more of a statement than a question. Tony didn't want anything else but a life far from the beatings he usually had to bear. That was all he could imagine, everything he wished for. But he wasn't even granted that little bit of normality in his life. "Sorry that I bothered you, Mister Gibbs."

It was heart-breaking to hear the words and Gibbs wasn't sure if he wanted to know what it would feel like to be denied a decent home. Or have the feeling to be denied that. He sighed, rubbed his hands over his face and remained silent for a while. He didn't know what to do. The situation wasn't easy and Gibbs simply wasn't used to what he was being asked for. To ask a question like the one Tony had certainly wasn't easy, but the answer was a million times harder. Every decision brought changes along. This one, however, would not only change Tony's life, but that of a whole family.

"Look, Tony… It's not that I wouldn't like to keep a close eye on you…" Gibbs didn't have a chance to finish, when Tony interrupted him with his small voice. It was evident that the boy had started crying. "It's okay. If you could leave now, Mister Gibbs…"

"Tony…" For once Gibbs didn't know what to say. He could promise the kid that he would think about it or he could fall for him and tell him that of course he adopted him. But neither decision was a confirmation that it would end this way. He would need time to find a solution to the problem. And even though he would willingly sign the papers, Shannon and Kelly had a word to say in this too. As did youth welfare.

Still, Gibbs needed to find a way to fix this. Retreating was the most effective thing to do, for now. No need to shoo the kid even further away. Not now, not at any given time. Besides, he needed time to think just as well. Solutions didn't always come as easy as they did with the job, which was due to the fact that it was more like listening to his instincts and following his gut when in the field. This, however, needed thorough reflection.

"I'll leave you alone for awhile, Tony. But I'm coming back as soon as I have a plan that will come as close to your wants as possible. Do you understand? I'm not going to leave you to some obscure enemy and I want you to believe that. Don't lose your head, now that you survived the worst of all the brunt you had to take." Gibbs gave the kid a genuine, yet sad smile but there was no response. He sighed, then moved towards the door. "See you later."

With that he left, leaving the nine year-old behind to his pain, to his loneliness and hopelessness. He couldn't even remember the last time someone had meant it when a promise slipped their lips. He wanted so desperately to believe Kelly's father but a road ascending too steeply for him to walk on stopped him. He longed so deeply for someone to care but disappointment threw him back down again and again.

Turning his head to the sun streams that watched through the window to his left side he felt the ache in his head, his limbs and most of all in his head. And when a bird flew by, free and uncaring, Tony allowed the tears behind his eyelids to fall for the first time since his mother died.

_Tbc..._

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_If you read this, please leave a review. I'd really like to know what you think. Thanks (:_


	5. Chapter 4 Part One

Author's Note: Hey, everybody. Yes, I've finally been able to write some more on this story. Honestly, there's no real exuse why I didn't write anymore and why, at all I've been so restrained as a writer over the past half year. There have been many changes in my life since I last posted a bit on this story. I'm in working life now, for once and even though I thought with regularized work times and without additional work for homework I had to invest in my freetime before I'd get many more chances to write. Fact is, working in shifts, where you have to work on weekends and where you are physically strained, sometimes ten days in a row and then you have the unpredictable two days off before starting all over again, you simply don't have the energy to sit down and start writing the rest of the time.

Sometimes when I have late shift I'm home at ten pm and I can't force myself to write for another two hours. First of all I'm exhausted, secondly there's so much on my mind that I can't get my head free of all the things that happened all day. Instead I rather sit down and read or watch TV, something where I don't need to be concentrated on, not nessecarily anyway. Or I experiment with my new camera, which sometimes is much more satisfying after work than writing.

Anyway, I promised some of you I'd work on this one and I keep my promises (most of the time). I love this story myself, I'm proud of it and it ached that I didn't know what to do with it. I've managed to write a total of 1.271 words yesterday night, bored out of my mind because I'm stuck at home due to a cold, and I'm relieved. Though, I'm not even close to being pleased with the result. First of all, I'm certain there are hundreds of grammar mistakes which comes with not writing in English for a long time. There are many other things I don't like about the chapter, but it has to work for now. Maybe I'll edit a better version one day, if I have the time and energy to do so, but I'd rather have this story finished before I start on a second draft (which would also imply the previous chapters).

Please enjoy, and let me know what you think. I hope you haven't given up on me, yet.

Hugs

**Chapter Four.**

Part one.

Gibbs sat down heavily on one of the rustic chairs in the kitchen. He shifted a bit until he found a position that was at least halfway comfortable, then closed his eyes against the bright sunlight shining through the windows. He let the silence in the house sooth his upcoming headache. As much as he enjoyed every second he spent with Shannon and their little girl he also cherished these moments of absolute solitude.

His wife and daughter had gone off to a nativity play in church with Shannon's parents and a couple of family friends. It had taken the Gunny quite some persuasiveness to convince Kelly to tag along and enjoy herself for awhile, forgetting about the events of the day. She loved those plays after all and he didn't want her to miss something so important to her. In the end Kelly had willingly gone with her mother without further protests, but Jethro had seen what conquest it had taken her.

Gibbs was thankful for that. Kelly's perfect Christmas had been going off course too much already by what had happened to her new friend. Besides she couldn't do anything about either the condition Tony was in or the whole situation.

Now that he was alone Jethro wanted to get done as much as possible on little DiNozzo's case. It was only a matter of time before youth care would make an appearance at the hospital and that was the last thing he or Anthony needed right now. It would only complicate everything, if they took the boy into protectory. The Gunnery wanted to avoid that if possible and find a completely differing way than the whole orphanage thing.

But while Gibbs didn't want for Tony DiNozzo to end up in any kind of care facility he wasn't entirely sure there was an option, a compromise that wouldn't also automatically imply that he adopted the boy. There had to be other ways. Remembering the conversation about the topic he'd been having earlier with Shannon, he sighed.

~*~

_Gibbs carefully closed the back door as he and Kelly had entered the kitchen. The drive from the hospital had been agonizingly slow and quiet. Kelly had been staring into space the whole way, tears glistering in her eyes and her beautifully innocent face was drawn with sorrow. Without even greeting her mother she went straight to her room. Shannon followed her with her eyes, concerned about her little girl, with a frown._

"_Let her be. She'll be fine, Shannon", Jethro reassured her. Leaning at the kitchen counter, feeling slightly drained and exhausted, he let himself be taken in an embrace from his wife. The comfort she gave him said more than a thousand words would ever be able to._

"_How's the little boy?" Shannon asked. She could sense that something wasn't right as Jethro simply nodded into her shoulder, not able to form a verbal answer, yet. She waited for him to elaborate without pushing him the least. Instead she turned back to the dinner she'd been preparing._

_Jethro took the chance and set the table. "He will be fine. Got a concussion, one arm is broken and he's covered with a dozen bruises. Superficial wounds that will heal with time. His father will most likely end up in jail for a while after the incident."_

_Shannon shook her head disbelievingly. "You'd think everyone who gets to be a parent would grow to love his children, not beat it half to death." Gibbs only nodded at that. "So, what's going to happen to the boy?"_

"_If the police can't find any available aunts, uncles or who knows what he'll probably be a case for youth welfare." Jethro closed his eyes and grimaced. He could sense Shannon approaching, a moment later he felt a hand on his shoulders and felt save enough to open his eyes again._

"_Are you alright, Jethro?" She asked and he felt himself shaking his head, truthfully._

"_It's most likely that Tony will end up in protectory and I can tell you, it's not in his best interest. The best for him would be if a wonderful, caring family would adopt him right away. I told him youth welfare will have to decide what happens with him, since his father will be behind bars for a while."_

"_Oh." For a few seconds she wore a shocked expression on her face, but then recovered quickly and frowned. "That probably didn't go too well. Did he understand?"_

"_He's been his father's living punching bag for a long time, Shannon. Of course he understood!" Jethro said a bit too harsh, but he apologized right away. Shannon didn't deserve his anger, she hadn't done anything wrong. But it was hard to control himself when the hatred he felt for Tony's father was still so close to the surface. "I'm sorry."_

_Thankfully, Shannon did understand his upset and nodded. She couldn't hold a grudge on her husband for long, anyway, and this whole fucked up situation was a reason she could relive. "It's okay, Jethro. You're tense at the moment, it's understandable." And with his temper it was far from a surprise for her that it got to him._

"_Tony seemed to be relieved to hear that his father will be in prison. But he's worried what will happen to him now. I promised him I'll do everything in my power to keep his father away and him safe but I'm not sure I truly can do that without breaking his heart." _

_The confession was filled with so much pain and insecurity, Shannon rarely got to see in one Leroy Jethro Gibbs, that she couldn't keep herself in check. She embraced him once more and Jethro seek all the comfort out of it that she could give him. It gave him the strength he needed. Shannon debated with herself whether or not she should say a word, but then decided to leave Jethro a little space to recover. She didn't want to rush him into an answer when obviously he needed time._

_Then, a couple of minutes later, Jethro was able to speak again and tell his wife the truth. "Tony would like to stay with us, Shannon. He doesn't want to end up in an orphanage and I totally understand that. I don't want that for him either."_

_Shannon sighed. "There probably won't be another chance, you know. So, what are you up to? What do you think?"_

"_Hell, I don't know, Shannon." He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. Scrubbing his face with one hand he breathed in and weighted his options. "Part of me wants to keep him close. At least that way I know he's in good hands. But my conscience tells me something else."_

_Shannon nodded. She did understand what he was telling her. He wouldn't be home for weeks if not months at a time when he had to go off and serve his country. He had a responsibility to the whole nation for god's sake and he couldn't give that up for one little boy. It was his job, his dedication. And he wasn't willing to leave that part of his life behind already. He hadn't for Kelly and he wouldn't for Tony, but Kelly was used to it. For Tony it was a whole new level, yet so familiar. His daddy, if chosen or not, would leave him behind to his sorrows and his pain. And he'd feel the rejection he had for the past six months._

_Gibbs didn't know how to fix it and that was the worst._

So... feedback please?


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